Monday, June 14, 2010

Embrace or Repress

Well it's been an interesting week to say the least. If life wasn't surprising then it would be boring. Who likes boring? In light of the events of this week I've found myself reflecting on my feelings; it's helped that Addison has been away at her Nana and Granpaw's house. It seems in life that you can either repress/ignore your emotions or embrace them. A couple of examples come to mind: with playing soccer I never embraced my feelings of anxiety or excitement. I tried to repress them which never worked very well. Repressing them led to more anxiety. By not dealing with them I had to deal with their side effects. It's in embracing these feelings that separates good athletes from the great ones.
Also, last night after the youth bible study Warren (an elder) spoke about the tension he felt in his heart as a result of hearing John Piper's video. He said we can either embrace the truth, though it may be a hard teaching, or we can run from it. I've often found that true in my spiritual walk. God reveals himself and I can choose to step closer, which often seems scary, or I can step away. I'm not sure if I've ever chosen to step away, but by not stepping forward I've "stepped away."
So it goes with this difficult situation. I can try to repress my feelings but that seems to create a fog of sadness. I don't want to live in a fog. It's hard to describe this fog, everything feels heavy and distant. I've tried this go-round to address my feelings rather than repressing them. What's wrong with feeling sad? It's only in naming my feelings and taking them to God that I can embrace them and live an abundant life.

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